Ten things I would say to my younger self
Want to hear something quite sad? I remember having this picture taken. On that day it was quite windy, and I was feeling super self-conscious. Secretly I hoped the camera would pass me over because I felt like I was so much bigger and fatter than everyone else in the school. That was just in my head though. My subconscious was never my best friend at sixteen. Looking back now, I decided to write this post. If I could time travel a letter or a note this is what I would like to say to my younger self, and things I’ll probably instil in my thirteen year old daughter. But she’s far more savvy than I ever was at her age!
Younger and wiser
1.Don’t judge yourself by other people’s standards
When I was a student I was always hyper aware of myself. I knew people made fun of me because I had a weight problem. I still do, but my attitude has changed. The opinion of testosterone fuelled 16 year old boys, matter only to their peers. If people don’t like you don’t force them to by making yourself the butt of a joke, or worse still making a joke about someone else which you might regret at a later date. You’re better than that. You are not inferior to anyone, or anything.
2. Don’t try to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders too young
Responsibility is a huge burden, and it sits there eating away at you. Don’t rush to find yourself in adult situations. Be free. Don’t worry about getting dirty, jumping in rivers, meeting the man or woman of your dreams and settling down with 2.4 kids. It all comes out in the wash. Which leads to
3. Don’t hurry love
If you don’t know yourself yet how do you expect anyone else to get to know the real you. Rushing headlong into a relationship is definitely not the right thing to do. Brake ups hurt like hell. And divorces cost more than weddings do…
Dealing with life
4. Rise above it
No matter where you go in life there are always going to be those petty narrow-minded people who try to bring you down. They may have their reasons. They may just be doing it because they are damaged or in pain themselves. No matter what the reason may be, don’t retaliate. Just smile, and find somewhere else to be happy. For each one of these people there are at least a handful of good people out there to meet who can teach you amazing things, if you’re willing to listen
5. Choose your friends wisely
You don’t need a million people in your life. If you’re lucky though you’ll have those one or two special people who are there with you through thick and thin. Fortunately fakers show their true colours pretty quickly, and this will hurt like hell at times. But you know the ones who are there to pick up the pieces and hold your hand when the chips are down are the ones you want around. They are rare, but so are diamonds.
6. Say yes to everything
I don’t mean absolutely everything. I mean experiences. Go out. If someone asks you to do something with them, go. Do all the new things that you can. Experience all the experiences! Nothing ever gets done if you say no to everything. Life is there for living, and saying yes leads to some absolutely hilarious stories!
7. Be you
There is only one you. You are unique and brilliant and that in itself is special. You don’t need to depreciate your value by getting people to laugh at you. You’re funny, pretty, articulate but just need a little bit of self belief. Don’t try to adapt yourself to fit in. So what if you stand out. If people have a problem, it’s theirs, not yours. Be mindful to the person you want to become, and understanding of others. But up above everything, be true to yourself.
8. Your action causes a reaction
Treat everyone like you want to be treated yourself. With respect and dignity. The way you act with and around others can either inspire them or destroy them. What you say (especially with your foot in mouth) may also need to be vetted before it pours out of your mouth.
9. You make your own happy
Don’t expect anyone else to do it for you! You got this, and you can do great things! Be positive, enjoy everything you do, and don’t wait for someone to come in and change your life. Only you have the power to do that!
10. And finally…don’t be afraid to let people in
Yes, it hurts when people dance all over your heart, but for you to be able to get to know a person you have to show them some vulnerability sometimes. Dear sixteen year old me, you’re not a robot, you are not in competition with anyone, least of all yourself. Just do your best – and let someone see how amazeballs you are sometimes. Life is too short to press rewind!